Ten Reasons Equal Marriage is a Good Idea

Yesterday I blocked someone on twitter. This is not a rare occurrence for me, people talk some right old cack and if I don't want to see it, I block them. Homophobia for example is something I don't have time for, I'll politely put across the point that they are wrong, then if they get rude, heated, or just spout ridiculous argument, I'm off.

So after being pointed to a "Ten Reasons Gay Marriage is Wrong" type post on the internet and having a swift glance which showed it was basically "because it's not in the bible" and "that gay thing is all a bit nasty" I blocked and left. But I kept thinking about the stupid reasons. So here is my (often tongue in cheek (not those cheeks rude boy!) and not meant to be offensive) reply. 

(I'm using the term gay to cover anything that isn't straight only because I'm lazy and because anything else looks clumsy. Don't feel left out. You are included, unless you are straight obviously)

Ten Reasons Equal Marriage is a Good Idea

1. Gay people are people. Being gay is not illegal (at least in the UK where I live). People should all be treated the same. (I could probably stop with this reason tbh ..)
2. God loves people. (see point 1) He makes people different. He wants people to be happy.
3. The bible has lots of laws in it that change even during the course of the bible, Jesus was very good at changing the rules. Being God I'm pretty sure you can do what you like. Changing the law on marriage would be the work of a moment for our hero, Jesus.
4. Not everyone believes in God (I know I know, what a shocker) People that don't believe in God also get married. No one minds. Sometimes they eve live happily ever after. ;-)
5. Marriage is not about procreation. If it was, old people would not be allowed to get married, nor people with known fertility issues. How offensive would that be! Adoption is an option anyway, or, surrogacy, or in the case of ladies, having their own baby by donor. So get over it, gay people can have kids, or not, it doesn't matter, they should still be able to get married.
6. Civil partnership was described by someone on the radio today as 'marriage lite' (by someone being positive about it!!)  I found that so offensive I almost crashed the car. If civil partnership is 'marriage lite' then it needs replacing, because marriage should be fattening, due to being happy and relaxed and in love and having cake :-) (see what I did there)
7. Gay people are good at parties. They know how to organise and dress right and make great menus and cocktails. Well OK not all of them, probably about the same as straight people if we are honest, but it sounds fun so I'm leaving it it. Gay parties would have more feathers and glitter.
8. Gay people should be allowed to be miserable and get less sex just like the rest of us. (It's an old joke but I'm slinging it in regardless) Why shouldn't two women in love moan about who does the shopping, argue about who wears which dress, have to pick up each others wet towels.
9. Equal Marriage would be good because all the 'offended' people would have to shut up. Be offended. I'm offended there is no equal marriage.You don't have to marry anyone you don't want to. Blimey you can even stop inviting them to your dinner parties (though that would drastically reduce the fabulousness of the said party - see point 7). And no, no on is going to marry a sheep.
10. Because I said so. It's as good a reason as any other. How can marriage be a bad thing? Encouraging people to openly declare their love, to make a commitment, to take responsibility, to be happy and a loving family. If you are against that, you may have some serious issues.

I am straight, and a Christian, and married. But I once met a gay person*


*at least one of my chums blogs over here and offered advice on this post to confused little me, Thanks Pete :-)

Also thanks to Tweeter secret Dom

A Terribly British Faery Festival

How super.

A small festival in a small field in a small village in the south of England.

A faery festival no less, filled with all the delightful English eccentrics you can imagine (me included) The weather was suitably British too, grey, windy (really really windy) with the occasional sudden downpour and cold, very cold (well it is only May). But what a fine time we had! After realising during the pitching of the tent that I had forgotten to bring a mallet i asked a fellow camper if I could borrow his, he lent me an axe, I wish I was joking, I'm not. A really big axe. You know when people say 'oh you shouldn't meet people online the might be axe murderers'? well real life people you meet in fields might be too, though I felt I was safe as he gave me the axe, I mean, maybe I'M the axe murderer (I'm not)

So tent pitched.

Then on to the festival full of middle aged hippies and middle class hippy wannabes (me) and children. Most of whom were dressed as fairies (everyone not just the kids). There was also a chap dressed as Captain Jack Sparrow (very realistic) and a gentleman with a fine beard and waxed moustache who spent the festival dressed in a tight mini dress, lace tights and lovely cardigan (I was too shy to ask him where he got the cardigan it really was pretty) There was trippy music, and a beer tent with fine ciders, ales and mead. Glorious food from Flapping Jacks (make your own jokes - we did)

and a talk from an author, Kit Berry (you know what a groupie I am - we bought books and got them signed too)

Cute Festival dog, with awesome eyebrows and fine bacon concentration

Fairy Wings

Fairy Boots

Music and beautiful faeries

Round house

Did I mention the cool market with new age delights, cloths, incense sticks, cake, jewellery etc? I bought things I don't need but I do love ;-)

and the weekend was just chilly damp English fun! Hoorah for festivals.

Chilly

Listen and look, my spring time walk.

listen to ‘Spring woodland boo’ on Audioboo

A blog post about cake

Seriously, cake. Sometimes a message appears in your inbox and you wonder if the person that sent it really knows you at all. "Would you like to review one of our cakes?" asked Bakers Days. Is @Pontifex Catholic? I replied (I didn't but I did nearly bite their hand off in my keen response)

Cake!

But it's better thank that, because Baker Days make cakes that can be personalised with anything you like, words, photos, designs, kids pictures, anything! You email them the idea (or design your cake online on their website) and they make it and post it to you, or to your recipient. Perfect for last minute birthday treats, congratulations, new babies ...even a 'Here, have some cake' Cake!

Don't take my word for it, have a look at some of the fab designs they already have

And anything is possible! I sent a pic of my avatar and a suggestion of what words to be added,
and I couldn't wait to see how it looked on an actual cake! (I was a little worried about it getting damaged in the post too - but those Bakers are also expert cake packers!) here is what I received, a sweet (pun intended) little cake that fits neatly through a letter box,(so no one has to be around to sign for it - perfect if you are sending a gift)  beautifully packaged in a keepsake tin, and the cake tasted delicious, seriously good, we opted for double choc...moist chocolately heaven (yes the cake was free but this is too important to exaggerate, the cake was scrumptious!) I didn't want to share, but protestations that 'it's my avatar therefore my cake' went ignored as DD and DH dived in for a slice.

Would I use this company again? Yes, they are not a cheap option but you really do get value for money, a beautiful cake that tastes marvellous. And a little tin to keep afterwards.

Letterbox Cakes 3-4 portions - 5 inch cakes (12cm x 2.5cm) start at £14.99 (with free delivery)  and are perfect as a gift for someone to share (or shovel down the whole cake if they are a pig like me) I chose a chocolate option but there are plain, and fruit choices too, and even gluten free cakes! There are various other sizes available right up to 50 serving cakes! And cup cakes too, Do take a look.

 http://www.bakerdays.com/

 I was sent this cake free of charge to eat and review. The review is all my own work. Eating cake is a tough job but I managed it. ;-)

Play with your food

I'm 'aving 'oops! 
In fact DD and I are having Hoops and Crosses! Thanks to a rather cute gift package from Walkers Crisps, DD and I had the perfect chance to play with our food this weekend. A new baked snack, with wholegrain in hoops and cross shapes just begged to be played with (and eaten) but before that we had to release Monty a cheeky monkey fellow accompanied by a book telling us just why we ought to be trying Hoops and Crosses from Walkers in DD's lunch box instead of crisps.

 Our monkey book tells us the snacks are 56% wholgrain, that 27% of children get no wholegrains in their diet at all (sad but not really a surprise) and that Hoops and Crosses come in 3 flavours, Salt and Vinegar (in the wrong colour bag, don't get me started), Beef (which we tried, after DD declared "I don't like beef flavour crisps" than ate some and added "except these, these are nice") and Prawn Cocktail (a good old British favourite in a jolly pink bag)

Now  DD doesn't regularly have crisps (I deem them 'junk food' and too salty) but we are of course human and we do have treats now and again so we will certainly be buying this (slightly) healthier optton in future. 

And to add to the fun, a few strands of uncooked spaghetti make a rather fine 'board' on which to play. I noted that when I was about to win a row, DD would hastily eat one of my pieces, but it was fun despite the cheating. So a rather fun and tasty snack, a great way to shovel some wholegrains into a child and not too bad a snack as a grown up either, a long time since I've had a crispy beef snack, I think they'd go well with beer :-)

Thanks to Walkers Crisps for sending us a bag to try (and for Monty our new monkey friend).

Job Interview tips

There are books on interview tips, see if your local library has one and have a read, but remember that that not all advice is appropriate for every job. You do need to use your own common sense a bit. 

• Dress appropriately. Always try and be smart and clean but do dress for the job. Don’t turn up in 4 inch heels and Armani if the job is warehouse supervisor, or in Doc Martins and combats if the job is makeup consultant in a post department store. 
• Don’t take anything with you that you don’t need for the interview. I know you are probably wondering ‘like what’? But I’ve interviewed people that said ‘will the interview take long as my dog is tied up outside’ and a woman that brought at least a weeks shopping with her in carrier bags that she calmly placed around her chair. 
• As mentioned in the ‘Top tips for applications’ post, know about the company and the job. 
• Have some answers ready for some of the most commonly asked interview questions. 

Eg 

• Why do you want the job? 
• What can you bring to the job/this company? 
• What do you know about this job already? 
• What do you think we are looking for? 
• How would your friends describe you? 
• Describe yourself in 3 words. (pick three different things, don’t go too wild or too tame! Be honest, examples might include, fun, honest, enthusiastic, industrious, conscientious, diligent, reliable, punctual, astute…) 
• Name a strength and a weakness you have. (of course you need a weakness that sounds like a strength ‘I’m a workaholic’ sounds too pat and forced though, so go for some thing honest but not too creepy, ‘I’m impatient, so sometimes I find it hard to let people make mistakes when I know I can help’ ‘I’m happy, people might see me as not serious’ ‘I can be serious about my work and people might see me as unfriendly but I’m working on that!’ for example).   Strengths are easier, pick one from the three words to describe yourself you thought of earlier. 

 

• Make sure you have a question or two of your own but ensure they are not about holidays or pay unless you really have no idea what the pay is for the job! (you should have been able to find this from the advert, the application pack or as a last resort via phone call before the interview) Good questions might be about training or job progression, though don’t seem to keen to move on – you haven’t got this job yet! 
• Be yourself. Don’t be afraid to be yourself and don’t be afraid to say you don’t know the answer to things, as long as you can show the interviewer that you are keen to learn and are a quick learner it may not matter.
• Relax. Sit still in your chair. Put your hands in your lap and try and keep them there! Try not to fiddle with your hair, your flies(!), your nails etc. 
• Nervous? Offered a cup of tea? Politely decline, you will have no time to talk and drink, you’ll shake and might spill the tea. Have a coffee after the interview is over! 

Good luck 

Do you have any top tips? Or hilarious horror stories of job interview situations? Do add a  comment below

Book giveaway

Book Giveaway UK only

Who doesn't love a good book,and here is a good one, for kids or the soft hearted adult, a book about friendship by Michael Morpurgo. Open to UK entries only as I'm paying the postage ;-)

This is a brand new paperback edition of The Amazing Story of Adolphus Tips

All you need to do is use Rafflecopter (below) to enter.

Competiton closes Tuesday 7th May
 

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Children and the whole 'awkward conversation'

to confuse spam bots not to be clever :-)

 I heard a discussion on the radio a few days ago about whether schools should discuss (and maybe even show!) prawn to the children as part of their sex education and personal development and of course many people shouted     "NO!"


 

NO!!


NO !!!


what are you thinking!?


NO!!!!

But I wonder if the schools may have a point. Prawn is everywhere and whether paraents like it or not it's unlikely to go away. Children (and I'm talking of early teens but each day the age seems to reduce) have smartphones or access to smartphones via their peers. One argument was along the lines of "I'd prefer to talk to my children about that myself!" and for a second I agreed but then the opposing view was put forward, and that is pretty clear, not all parents DO talk to their kids about sex and not all want to, in fact the original commenter went on the say

"we've all, as parents, had that horrible, cringeworthy, talk with our kids, about the birds and the bees"

and I thought 'have we?' I know I haven't, I've had quick questions about sex, I've had HILARIOUS conversations about where babies come from, I've read some quite genius children's books on the subject with DD, I've been amazed at the breadth of her knowledge and the breadth of her investigational questioning! But horrible and cringeworthy? Nope.


Because I've always just answered what was asked, always have (we bought the book on the left when she was about 3) . Seems to me like the most simple thing in the world. And even now that DD is 13 she asks questions that surprise me or make me laugh, but nothing that makes me cringe. (Saturday morning comment a case in point "Hmm you two are very jolly this morning, was there fun and frolics last night?" cue my husband and I crying with laughter (and *ahem* not answering! LOL)

But lately she has been asking other questions, questions that start "I saw on TV ...." and it's obvious that some things she sees are confusing (not least the fact she pointed out no one on TV uses condoms, they just cuddle and have sex, so she quite reasonably wanted to know when you would stop to put it on) and while I'm happy to discuss all this there are many parents that are not. So I think schools SHOULD talk to kids about prawn, and about the dangers of sexting, and the risk or pictures online, of photos on phones, of facebook, about respect about the fact that prawn isn't very 'real' (as many wags on twitter have pointed out "Prawn gives young people an unrealistic and unhealthy idea of how quickly a plumber will come to your house.") That people come (unintentional pun honest guv) in all shapes and sizes, that sex can be funny as well as passionate, that stuff can go wrong and you can still be friends with and love your partner, even if there are fanny farts and lost condoms ...I'm straying off the point (another pun, good grief it's turning into a carry on film, not a prawn one!)

any way - to cut a long (oh for goodness sake!) story short, I think prawn should be discussed in school, and I think parents should talk about sex and relationships at home, and I think boys and girls should be taught respect and caring are as important as 5 minutes of fumbling fun.

what do you think?

Festivals for the (mildly) disabled

I have Charcot-Marie-Tooth Disease, I am a mother and I work full time as an IT Manager.
CMT has probably shaped who I am the most as it’s been with me the longest, although it was not diagnosed until I was 36, I had been showing symptoms since my early teens and I had had some surgery on my feet in my twenties. My hands’ clawing was at first assumed (by me) to be related to my job and excessive computer use but a keen neurologist said that as soon as he saw me walk across the room he knew I had CMT! My main symptoms are weakness, tiredness and poor balance.
 
CMT certainly doesn’t define me though. I am a keen camper and  part time festival hippy. Every summer I can hardly wait for the weather to be good enough to tempt me out in my tent. I am a minimalist Glamper! No electricity hook up but plenty of bunting, solar powered fairy lights and flowery deckchairs. My husband doesn’t share my camping bug so I camp with my 13-year-old daughter.
 
To ensure I can get the tent up on my own I use a Dutch Pyramid style tent, one most would think of as ‘old fashioned’, but due to their reliance on one main centre pole they are simple to put up even when you are alone, have poor balance and weak hands. I actually own three tents (one painted for festival use) and only threats from my husband have prevented more purchases. Ebay is a terrible danger to the camping obsessive.
 

I usually start camping in March or April and go away as many weekends as I can until October, last year we camped for Halloween which was cold but fun. But the best use of the tent is to attend a music festival for a long weekend, letting my hair down, entwining it with flowers and being a hippy for a while.
 
This year I’ll be taking my daughter to Glastonbury, Wilderness and Camp Bestival again, a fantastic music festival in Lulworth in Dorset that is family friendly, very safe and enormous fun.

For anyone that hasn’t been to a festival I can recommend it as a way to relax; even the uneven ground can be overcome if you take your time, there is no hurry to do anything, lots of people are drinking, so my wobbly gait and odd stumbles go unnoticed.

For those that can’t face pitching a tent (although that is the best bit) many festivals have ready-pitched tents, yurts, gypsy caravans, and disabled areas close to the action to save the long walks. I'm not 'disabled enough' to qualify for a spot in the disabled camping section and don't use a wheelchair, I'd love to hear from campers or festival goers that cope using a wheelchair on site, I imagine that unless it's very wet a motorised wheelchair would cope ok, but spare batteries? 

Don’t be fooled into thinking that festivals aren’t out there for you! There are hundreds
of festivals every year from small beer festivals, to huge well-known music festivals. Local festivals or those of special interest are often more fun than the larger ones.

We like smaller festivals where there is dressing up, music, food and general silliness, on a smaller scale,  this year we are off to the Findon Faerie Festival in May

One thing I did invest in was a festival trolley. You can hire them but I use mine all through the festival as transport and instant seat! (I've got a well trained helper)

 

For information on these and other festivals
http://www.magicalfestivals.co.uk/
http://www.efestivals.co.uk/festivals/
http://www.campbestival.net/
http://www.wildernessfestival.com/

article originally published in CoMmeNT Magazine in 2011 (updated for this blog post)

Testing 1, 2, 3 (Ed Balls Day)

I've downloaded the Blogger app for android. So I thought that a quick blog post/review would be a good test of its powers and usability.

First impressions are that its simple to blog from. The only real danger I foresee is the peril of autocorrect!

I can easily start and type a new post, I can add a picture straight from my phone, (though I'm not sure where in the post the picture will appear) I can format things...

Looking at the previous posts screen however it seems that some of the times created (which is used as sort order) are not correct, and I can't seem to look back more than about 20 posts, but that aside, as a fast, on the go blogging app it looks pretty good. So you may get more blog posts from me (you knew there was a downside)

Oh one more test, adding a link ed balls

Things it still needs are, a link to a stats page or "number of views" in the Posts page, and a way to moderate comments direct from the app.