The Positive Game

I've been a little fed up this week with unnecessarily negatively slanted news.

But wait! (I hear you cry) news is news, if it's bad it's bad, that's life!

Well you are wrong! as lovely hubby pointed out today, in 'the old days' much of our news was positive, even during natural disasters and wars. The media added a positive slant. So here today we read

What is delaying Haiti's Aid in 'the old days' we would have seen "Aid reaches Haiti!" with photo's of the aid that HAD arrived, not moans about what hadn't.

This has led me to begin playing - the positive news game! (at the moment on the BBC website only but feel free to play in newspapers and at TV reports of your choice.) Spot a 'negatively slanted' headline and make it positive! It's that simple. Give it a go. and have a more cheerful day.

here's one to start you off

Us Home Sales see steep drop in December = US home sales remain above year-ago levels

obviously I'm not saying there is no bad news but it really seems that the media love to wallow in doom and gloom. So spot the ones that could have been reported positively but the media chose to report negatively

Now THAT is news!

Conspiracy theories will be covered in another blog post! (wink)

Too angry and upset to type much

This story about how a women would not be able to look after her own baby made me so sad and so angry I don't even know where to begin. (social workers can now predict the future based on no evidence at all it seems?)

but I had hoped that when the baby was born all would be well, she'd be given support and the family would prove doubters wrong. Seems I'm too optimistic, she didn't even have a chance, due to MILD learning difficulties Kerry Robertson has had her baby taken away at a few days old (when she was trying to breastfeed exclusively as is recommended by WHO) and now can only see him every other day.

You can read more for yourself here. But if you are a parent (or even a teeny bit caring) I suggest you have tissues to hand and maybe a stress ball or punchbag!

Even if this does get sorted out and baby Ben is returned to his parents, he has missed out on vital feeding days, and his family have been traumatised and will be affected for life. I am ashamed, ashamed that this can happen in a country that claims to care about people. I am praying for her and her family because right now I don't know how else to help. (suggestions welcomed)

The couple have been allowed to see their son for two hours every other day.

Miss Robertson said: ‘Holding him made me upset all over again. I’ve told the social workers I don’t want him to have bottled milk or a dummy. I feel breastfeeding is so important and at least then he is still having some of me.’

If this had happened abroad say in India we'd all be saying, "oh but that's because they are not like us, not caring, not a state with money to help" etc etc

and oddly India does indeed seem different to us just look here

“Initially, we were concerned about the way the mother would react. But surprisingly, she is taking good care of her child. She has become very active, lively, mature and cheerful. Earlier, she used to be a depressed and quiet person,” Ratnam said. “Also, she very well realises the fact that Pari is her child. The name Pari was suggested by her only. She is very attached to her.”

A great debate on the rights of the FATHER in this case here

I admit it. I'm .........

apparently everyone can find themselves in a character from A A Milne's 100 Acre wood. There are almost too many silly quizzes to test this theory, but in reality you know.

I know my daughter is Piglet, a small and nervous thing, expecting the worst and needing her hand held to face the unfamiliar.

I know that some people I have met online are Christopher Robin, smart, practical, not afraid, 'sensible'.

I know some Rabbits - all organisation with no real substance..

And of course I know some Eyeores, for whom life is one disaster after another, nothing will make them happy all is gloom.

I would love to be Kanga. She is filled with motherly good sense and cheer, loving her offspring and his friends, doing 'motherly' things like baking and giving medicine when needed. I would love my daughter to be like Roo, excited, inquisitive, afraid of nothing...but I need to be realistic

I am Owl.
"He is always happy to offer his opinions, advice, and anecdotes - whether or not they are actually wanted. Owl also enjoys telling stories about his relatives, including his aunt who laid a seagull's egg by mistake and his Uncle Robert who once survived a very blusterous day."

I think I know so much. I think I am so clever, so much more organised than anyone else. My answers are always right. because 'I KNOW!' I can recall long stories and recite them whenever the opportunity arises. I may forget I've told them before (or maybe not!) but as they are good stories I will tell them again, I never tire of the sound of my own voice (others often do)......but like Owl inside I am insecure, needy and just want to be involved. Like Owl, I can appear stuffy and 'stand offish' but I love my friends and would do anything to save them, even if I would mumble that it was silly, I would still do whatever was needed. Because like all flawed people (and cartoon characters) I am not all bad.

Find out who you are by doing the quiz here

and be sure and pop back to let me know....was the quiz accurate? be honest!

(edited to add - who knew? Josie thinks she's Eyeore! I'll be sure and keep some thistles to hand in case she gets peckish)

Written in Response to the "which cartoon character are you?" Prompt at The 'Sleep is for the Weak' writing workshop

Being Haunted

Ok, so like many people I donated to the fund for Haiti - and now I've done it again, the pictures and stories haunt me. So I'm giving what I can when I can. As I have already got a direct debit with World Vision I've been donating to them. But of course there are other charities collecting and coordinating in Haiti.




If you have donated, great; if you can't afford to, pray. If you 'just haven't got round to it yet' please do, Haiti will need help for YEARS to come to cope with this disaster. (Click the picture left to go to the Disasters Emergency Committee website and donate)

You can also Text “GIVE” to 70077 to give £5 to the DEC Haiti Earthquake Appeal. £5 goes to the DEC. You pay £5 plus the standard network SMS rate.


World Vision most concerned for Haiti’s separated children

World Vision continues to reach more families with life-saving aid, despite the logistical challenges still hampering Haiti’s quake-ravaged capital city. The agency’s staff in Haiti are increasingly concerned about the safety of children as they find more and more children separated from their parents. (click here for more from World Vision)

Will you ?

You drink your coffee and I sip my tea
And we're sitting here playing so cool, thinking "What will be, will be"
But it's getting kind of late now
Oh I wonder if you'll stay now, stay now, stay now, stay now
Or will you just politely say goodnight?

I move a little closer to you, not knowing quite what to do
And I'm feeling all fingers and thumbs, I spill my tea, oh silly me!
But it's getting kind of late now
I wonder if you'll stay now, stay now, stay now, stay now
Or will you just politely say goodnight?

And then we touch much too much
This moment has been waiting for a long long time
Makes me shiver, it makes me quiver
This moment I'm so unsure
This moment I've waited for
Is it something you've been waiting for, waiting for too?

Take off your eyes, bare your soul
Gather me to you and make me whole
Tell me your secrets, sing me the song
Sing it to me in the silent tongue
But it's getting kind of late now
I wonder if you'll stay now, stay now, stay now, stay now
Or will you just politely say goodnight?


This song, seems to be me at 18. I used to listen to it and think that this was what love should be like. And when I met my (now) husband it certainly all rang true! but I haven't felt this sort of nervous thrill for a long time. I'm happily married, don't want to change that but I miss that uneasiness, that nervousness, that unsureness, the promise of things to come.....I have familiarity now, comfort, love, security, but sometimes I miss spilling my tea.

and then...if I had to date again! I'd be terrified LOL

Writing Workshop - a poem of cold things

In the street is cold and snow
still not slush, not ready to go
what once was grey is white and clean
but pigeons wonder what it means

scratching among the stranded cars
hoping for crumbs or fallen stars
they sit, dejected, fluffed, alone
a heap of flesh, of feathers, bone

a window view, a look without,
silent, still, no word no shout
but thought of others trapped in stone
where all is white, and all alone.

This poem written after gazing out of my window to the boring (and snowy) look of my car park and hearing on the radio the stories of Haiti, the dead children, the dust and the unimaginable loss.

Thanks to Josie for the prompt

Things the darling child says

obviously all children are amazing.

Just being able to learn a whole new language from NOTHING in a couple of years can convince me of that! but while busy learning a language they are learning so much more! Imagine if we continued to learn at the rate of a child! Go on just stop and think for a second, good lord! the world would be filled with amazing brains, it would be incredible....

so with that in mind it should come as no surprise to me that my own 10 year old is as bright as a button and while lacking the experience of an adult, and having a rather 'black and white' view of the world (not always a bad thing!) she can occasionally still stun me with utterances of brilliance, although to be fair they are also often questions...

example one

The other day i was talking about babies, she is baby obsessed!, and we were talking about all the things that babies need etc etc I asked her (just on a whim as it's a hot Twitter topic)
"What age do you think a baby should be breastfed until?"

Her reply? "Until it wants to stop?"

Of course! how simple! how have so many learned adults missed this!! not 4 months, 6 months, 1 year, until he has teeth, until he can, walk, talk etc etc but UNTIL HE WANTS TO STOP!

Excellent 10/10 go to the top of the class!

example two

this morning we noticed that one of the stick insects is extremely ill/old and near death. I suggested it may be a kindness to 'put it out of it's misery' (we've done this before - she always does it while sobbing uncontrollably! I'd always worried she would be scarred for life) but today she looked at the stick insect and decided it was not yet time.

Then she turned to me and said "When I am old and nearly dead i want the Drs to put me down like an old dog so I don't suffer" I explained that, oddly, that isn't allowed. She was shocked!

"But they do it with dogs! People are more important than dogs!" I explained that some people think that killing people for any reason is wrong. I told her about the clinic in Switzerland...

"well then I 'll go there" she said "they seem sensible"

I got an award!

but I'm not as excited as I was when I read I got it! I went and looked and dammit if I don't have to DO something to claim it! Huh! what kind of award is THAT! Where's the trophy for the shelf ? the flowers? the chocolate? no where that's where just an award where I have to DO STUFF!

Thank you, I am very happy to receive this prestigious award, I would like to thank my agent, my family etc etc It is a proud moment and I am thrilled and can't wait to get started!

please choose one of the preceding paragraphs to show how I feel about this award ;-)


so thank you very much Very Bored HouseWife I have to tell 10 secrets, and to be fair I'm not the kind of girl that keeps secrets, no really I'm not! so I may struggle, or have to tell 'secrets' that are actually known to a few people but not to all of you dear readers!

1. I have CMT (charcot-marie-tooth aka Hereditary motor and sensory neuropathy) sounds nasty? it isn't a bowl of cherries to be sure. But I have it very mildly, my ankles are weak, my balance is very poor (this icy weather is a nightmare!) and my hands are extremely weak, my fingers are clawed, I have witches hands. On the plus side it affects pain perception, if you ask me, having a baby isn't painful at all ;-) just a bit tiring.
   
2. I own a sex toy that I bought when I was 18, used a few times and then wanted to get rid of it! I have no idea how to throw it away as I'm scared the bin men would see it! It's hardly the kind of item you can put on Freecycle or send to 'Help the Aged' either. So it's hidden at the back of a cupboard. I bet the batteries have all leaked inside it. I refuse to look.
3. I regularly 'find' people when travelling, I have to date ; met a girl on a train that was going to the same college as me and we are now firm friends; met a nun stranded with no way home due to a train strike, so we shared a taxi with her; found a man in California that missed the same train we did, we took him to another station; and today collected 2 ladies at a bus stop waiting for a bus that I knew was cancelled...after telling them we ended up travelling together.
4. I'm a snob. Not really a secret. but I'm not proud, I do try but I know I'm a snob, I hate instant coffee, can only drink it real, I prefer to use a fountain pen to a biro, I like posh things and generally enjoy the highlife. I'm much more Penelope Keith than Felicity Kendall in the Good Life
5. I love camping more than almost anything else. Tents are my passion but I also long to own an old VW van. I love to do festivals with my daughter. I love it all the mud, the nasty toilets, the late nights, the beer, the friends, the strangers..........hhmmmm doesn't really go with 4 above does it? maybe I'm not so posh after all!
6. I love the Twilight series (this is not a secret - more of a confession!)
7. I am terrified of spiders
8. I wish I had taken a different career path but am afraid to risk losing the money I make in order to change it.
9. I'm hopelessly untidy and disorganised. I'm lazy and a procrastinator. I am happy with this.
10. I always said I wouldn't diet but now I'm 10 stone I think I really should look at what I eat and how much beer I drink. I want to be 9 stone again, I liked it there it felt good.

so there we go and apart from 2 which is a real and secret secret I really had to scrape the bottom of the barrel! the only good news is that I can pass this award on! How super I shall award it to

Angie

Lucy Melford (cos I'm loving her Brighton Museum posts today!)

Hyla

Blunt Bloke

and

Madam Salami

oh and also

Ruth

My Parenting Style

is there such a thing?

I don't think I have a style, in some things I'm relaxed to the point of silliness and yet in others I'm strict in the extreme.

So what gives? well it's an odd idea but I use my brain.

My parenting style is based on me and my child, not you, not your child. You can do as you see fit (maiming and abusing your child obviously excepted!) and I will do what works for us.

I read lots of books on babies and children and on parenting. I read books on 'sleeping' and on 'feeding' and on 'talking' and on 'potty training'. I read lots of books, and websites, and magazines, and talked to friends. And you know what? they all disagreed!! No two sources could agree on anything!
So I should 'let my baby cry it out' and I should 'pick her up everytime she cried', I should 'feed every 4 hours' and 'feed on demand'. I should use 'disposable nappies as they are drier' and use 'cloth nappies to save the planet'.
I should feed 'real food at 4 months' or '6 months' or '8 months' or when I finish breastfeeding (which I may not want to do as bottle feeding makes it easier to see how much your baby is getting...
So I should 'let potty training just happen' I should 'use sweets' or 'star charts' I should 'let my child see me use the toilet' I should 'go cold turkey - straight to no nappies' or I should 'use pull-ups in case of accidents' etc etc you get the picture.

One thing I was 100% on, I wanted to breast feed. Which I did - despite a hiccup on day 5 when milk arriving by the tanker load caused my tiny boobs to become hard coconuts that a porn star would be proud of (and that a baby trying to latch onto just bounced off of!) a quick trip back to the hospital and the midwives helped me out, so that was all good. So breast feeding, check, cloth nappies, check.

Letting my baby cry sometimes, yep (so sue me). baby sleeping through the night at 6 weeks, check, potty trained when she seemed to be ready, check, out of nappies and dry at night at 1 year, check......

oh yes I'm the perfect mum.................zzzzzzzzzsscccrraaaaaaaaaattccchhhhhhhhh zzzzzzzzz

sorry what? where was I oh yes...... so my parenting style is a mishmash of things heard, things learned from other mums, my own ideas etc

I believe that children need rules and boundaries so my child has them. But I also believe she's a person with ideas and likes and dislikes that can be discussed. I believe that she should get her way some days but that the world is not hers alone, that mummy and daddy matter too, that our house has rules that we all need to follow to have a happy home. That chores are something no one wants to do but we all have to. That pocket money (like wages) must be earned. That sometimes you can have a treat for no reason, and that some days suck while some are fun. That actions have consequences, and they may be bad.

The one constant is LOVE, I adore my daughter to the point of pain, I'd gladly die to save her..........

~~~~~~~~~

so I read that ramble back to myself and realise I DO have a parenting style, it's 'personal chaotic' and I think that there maybe no saving throws............