or any breastfeeding. You can be repulsed by it, loathe it, find it vile and disgusting. You may if you like actually feel physically sick when you see a woman breastfeeding. That is your right. I myself find spiders to be loathsome and vile. Eveyone has a right to be disgusted by anything. We can't help it.
I could tell you that breastfeeding is natural (it is), beautiful (it is), that it is brilliant for both mum and baby (it is), I could tell you that it can be hard and that mums need a medal even for trying to breastfeed in many cases (they do) but just as you could tell me that spiders are harmless (yeah yeah) that they are miracles of nature (I hear you) that they rid the house of nasty dirty flies (yep again) and neither of us would be convinced. I would still feel digust when i see an arachnid and you would still feel ill seeing a woman breastfeeding. It's your right of course, I can't tell you how to feel. Neither can any one else.
You are allowed to be disgusted by a perfectly natural and beautiful thing.
What you are NOT ALLOWED to do is ask a woman to stop, to ask her to 'be more discreet' or to 'cover up'. YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED to ask a cafe owner to move the lady to another table 'at the back' YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED to ask her to feed her baby in the toilet, or to point at her, to make a fuss, to embarass her. YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED to complain to her or those around you, to harrass her.
You are allowed to look away. To move away, to use another cafe, to eat your sandwiches in the toilet.
You are free to be disgusted, just as I am of spiders, but you are not suddenly allowed to assume the world is an adult only space, or that a baby eating should be hidden away.
And to all breastfeeding mums reading this. I salute you.
So true!! :D
ReplyDeleteWhat a wonderful post and I have to agree x
ReplyDeletehear hear!
ReplyDelete(and thanks for the salute)
I love you.
ReplyDeleteI LOVE THE FINGER ! HA! Well said that woman. Can you imagine the disgust I created when I fed the twins in public ! (not often I hasten to add, but it did happen) The dads in the mothercare changing room seemed to like it rather a lot xx
ReplyDeleteBrilliant! I wish I'd written this!,,,,,and Karen Jones..hahaha!
ReplyDeleteMost excellent sentiments. Well done you! x
ReplyDelete*Applauds*
ReplyDeleteHell yes!
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteAmazing post !!!!!
ReplyDeletewell said
ReplyDeleteBloody hell, yes!!
ReplyDeleteThat's exactly how I feel! Although in fairness most people are fascinated. But I do cover myself up more because I feel uncomfortable than anything else.
ReplyDelete*Cheers loudly*
ReplyDeleteBrilliant. I got goose bumps reading this and I salute you back for writing it. Love that photo :)
ReplyDelete*applauds*
ReplyDeleteNice tits, btw
Brilliant, just brilliant!
ReplyDeleteBloody well said!!
ReplyDeleteI love this - perfectly expressed and very true!
ReplyDeleteI breast fed 2 babies,luckily I didn't have any problems,I was quite discreet.,Its the most natural thing in the world! Good job to all breast feeding mums......to all the people who are offended LOOK AWAY AND GET OVER IT!
ReplyDeleteI breast fed 2 babies,luckily I didn't have any problems,I was quite discreet.,Its the most natural thing in the world! Good job to all breast feeding mums......to all the people who are offended LOOK AWAY AND GET OVER IT!
ReplyDeleteLove this! Well said. :0)
ReplyDeleteLovely post, I had three babies and between them all they were breastfed for 2 years, they are all happy and healthy and I fed them wherever and whenever necessary. I never had a problem and was discrete but have hears of others in my local area who have, keep going - it is your right to feed your baby and if someone had a problem it is exactly that - their problem!
ReplyDeleteDamn straight. Well said. Awesome pic too.
ReplyDeleteI never met anyone who made any negative comment about my bf, unless they didn't dare - though some "facilities" were questionable. People were very positive in fact.
ReplyDeleteThank you all so much for your comments. I have been amazed by the attention and the support this post has attracted. I'm sad that still women are hassled for doing something as simple as feeding a baby.
ReplyDeleteI'm grinning as I read this while feeding my son. I've been bfing my 3 kids for most of 10 years, and attitudes do feel to have gotten worse sadly. Fabulous brilliant wonderful post!
ReplyDeleteBrilliant post. Totally agree. If people don't like it then they should leave.
ReplyDeleteSo agree. That bit about not assuming the world is an adult only place. Exactly. And yes, if you have an issue it is your issue. Move away! I have breastfed four kids forever and everywhere without hesitation. I never got any weird comments and am horrified that there really are so many people who are made to feel ill by what is a beautiful normal natural process.
ReplyDeleteMichelle
Abso-bloody-lutely, well said. I fed four and never experienced hostility but I have friends who did and it's just not on.
ReplyDeleteOh sweet lord get over yourself
ReplyDeleteI am a mother of 2 little girls, both under the age of 2. They have both been bottle fed and are amazingly healthy and intelligent. I am one of those people who's stomach turns just at the thought of breastfeeding. I know it's natural, but in my mind it is not. This is, like you say, a feeling i cannot help. I had to have 2 c sections and i was quite relieved as i find the thought of childbirth disgusting also. I have nothing at all against mother's feeding in public, but it would certainly put me off my lunch or coffee if i were in a cafe. Lol. I would have to go somewhere else... I'm happy to do this. Great post :)
ReplyDeleteThank you for your honest response. I really do 'get' that some people don't like it! but I applaud your sensible attitude. (as to the bottle / breast thing , i covered that in another post 'Breasts, Juicy Breasts' or some such - lots of reasons not to breastfeed, and bottle feeding works fine :-))
DeleteI beastfed both of my babies - & yes It really did hurt to begin with especially when I got mastitis (I actually passed out) but I knew how important it was as I have asthma & eczema so I carried on and found how easy it was when you were doing it right and once we both got the hang of it I could do it anywhere (cafe/shop/pub/answering my front door!) No one ever needed to see my breast as I fed my baby and it is THE most natural thing in the world and SO convienant and FREE!!!!
ReplyDeleteI fed 3 of my 4 children, I got tutted at in public, mainly by the "older" generation, but I carried on, I'd cover myself up, I'd smile sweetly.
ReplyDeleteWhat I found strange was going into a baby change/feed room, I sat on a wooden bench & fed by daughter, only to be told to move to the back because I was sat in the bottle feed area, I moved & at the back were padded rocking chairs etc, arm chairs.
How could seating be so different just because you breast feed not bottle feed?? I didn't understand it. & still don't to this day
Great post BTW, excellent infact.
Great post! Though I must admit, I don't understand the fear of spiders! ;)
ReplyDeleteFabulous...I love it! I bfed both of my babies (still nursing my almost 19mo) and count myself lucky that I've never encountered any of the rude folks which so many moms do. I will never understand why those who don't like it can't just turn away...
ReplyDeleteI salute you right back. I have a pic of DD on the boob doing a two finger salute, must dig it out!
ReplyDeleteFantastic beautiful photo
ReplyDeleteI wish we could find a way for more people not to be disgusted by it. You are right, we can't police people's feelings, but the shame and judgements passed on us are enough to turn many mother's away from breastfeeding in public. And as we all know, it's pretty hard to be successful at breastfeeding if you have to stay home all day to do it. Or worse, supplement when you go out because you're too embarrassed by what people will think.
ReplyDeleteIts a vicious cycle. If it were more commonly seen, it would just become a normal part of life..faded into the background. But the more people find it disgusting, the less people there are doing it, and the less people doing it, the more people find it disgusting.
And ultimately, WTH is so disgusting about a baby eating???
I get your post. I agree with you. I just WISH it wasn't viewed as disgusting by so many ignorant people. And if you find breastfeeding disgusting? yeah, I called you ignorant.
AMEN!
ReplyDeleteI once fed my second child and a gentleman who happened to spot me doing so at first frowned fiercely...but then he threw up! I hasten to add that I was nursing my baby, and rather modestly covered, on a ferry boat to Block Island. The crossing was rough, and I think the vomiting had more to do with the crossing than the sight of me and my baby! Nevertheless, nothing stopped me from nursing a hungry baby anywhere and at any time! Covering myself up was more for my baby's sake than for the sensibilities of disgusted "voyeurs." Who wants to be stared at while eating?
ReplyDeleteGreat post!
ReplyDeleteim hoping to have a baby in the next year, year and a 1/2 and im going to breastfeed my child. why the hell not. if someone doesnt like it,then tough.
ReplyDeleteLove it, well said, I'm the same except instead of spiders it would be wasps
ReplyDeleteFinally someone who tells it like it is - spiders ARE way more disgusting than breastfeeding.
ReplyDeletepeople are so ridiculous, is there anything more natural than a mother feeding her child?
ReplyDeleteTo my husband‘s surprise, these boobs were made for nursing first and that is what they will be used for. I feed our son wherever he is hungry and as far as the people who think it is inappropriate, please go tell that girl in bootie shorts and a low cut tank top to cover up because you see much more of her body than mine with a baby attached to it.
ReplyDeleteThis was an amazing, well written post!!! Love it!!! Thank you for writing this! I just wish this could be handed out to everyone, or on a billboard!!!
ReplyDeleteExcellent! I am a doula, and a breastfeeding mom, and I just did a bunch of research for a speech I have to make (For school) - in it, I point out the huge drop-off in breastfeeding rates, when baby reaches 3 months of age, the developmental point at which many babies stop tolerating a cover over their heads and, instead, will reach for the cover and either fling it aside or (like my daughter) whip it around their heads like a lasso, while vocalizing loudly. 3 out of 4 moms start out breastfeeding, but at the 3 month mark, the breastfeeding rate drops below 40%. Changing society's attitudes about breast feeding is critical, for babies, and for all the humans who will ever interact with those babies!!! Great article :)
ReplyDeleteExactly! It's fine to feel uncomfortable. It's not fine to blame someone else for the problem.
ReplyDelete<3
ReplyDeleteBreast feed, bottle feed who cares. We r feeding our children. Lets keep it at that. Lets not make the nature of feeding our children a show, how ever it is done. Be happy with your own choices and move on with it. There is always someone who is going to be unhappy with something someone else does. That is the world it will never change. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It is how we react to the opinion that makes the impact not the action that was done to create the opinion.
ReplyDeleteThat picture is offensive, and not the breastfeeding either. To show a baby, weather intentional or not, "giving the finger" is disgusting, not funny just childish.
I am disgusted by people with a huge belly but they have a right to be very fat.
ReplyDeleteoh don't get me started on 'things that are allowed that I find disgusting in public' ..Uggs are top of the list. I try to look away or change cafes :-)
DeleteJust to be clear on this issue! If you want to breast feed in public FINE...NOBODY GIVES A CRAP! Its the moms that decide that popping their boob out with out being covered up and assuming that since they do this in private its OK to do in public. ITS NOT! This seems to be the issue that the moms just dont get.
ReplyDeleteAs for parents in general thinking they have the right to take their kids anywhere they go...BULL S&%t! The whole idea adults go out most of the time is to get away from the kids for a little bit. That means we DO NOT want to hear a crying baby or have your bratty kid running up and down the isles or yelling or crying they dont get a cookie!
So the next time you head out to a place to eat, drink or whatever and the venue is for adults. Dont you DARE get offended when you get dirty looks from other adults trying to figure out why the hell you brought your kid there or why you decide to feed your child and your boob is hanging out all over the place. Bottom line..............cover it up and you'll be left alone!
Firstly, I don't know of any mum who feeds her kids with "her boob hanging out all over the place". Generally if her boob pops out it's an accident. No woman wants this to happen. So - you vile specimen who hasn't even got the guts to leave a name - "the moms" do get this issue.
ReplyDeleteSecondly, if a place allows parents to bring their kids in to eat, drink or whatever then the venue is not adults-only and no grown up has a right to throw dirty looks.
Parents generally do have to take kids anywhere they go. If they don't it's called neglect. I suppose people like you think mums should stay at home with their kids for the first 10 years of more - or lock 'em in the basement like we're the bloody Fritzls.
I've been in the vicinity of many adults in public places who are smoking/drunk/talking loudly on mobile phones and I'd love to get rid of them.
But there's something called human rights. And children are little humans.
You used to be one.
I'm guessing you can't stand kids and have decided not to have any - it's just a shame your parents didn't feel the same.
LMFAO! Actually "MUM" i have 6 kids and my wife breast fed them in public all the time DISCRETELY and we were CONSIDERATE enough of others not to take our children certain places b/c it wouldnt have been CONSIDERATE of us to do so. If you havent seen a "MUM" breast feeding her child with her boobs all out in the open before tells me you dont get out much b/c it happens alot.
DeleteSecond its not called neglect...its called a BABYSITTER! Its soccer moms like you who think how you raise your children, should be accepted by everyone else or else they are trampling all over your rights....Grow up!
Wow, what a load of bullshit. You write like a teenager, not a father of 6. I too have NEVER seen a woman with her boobs hanging out. Jeez, most of the time you don't notice people feeding at all... Unless, like I imagine you are, just staring at random women's tits. Shame on you for looking in the first place you pervert.
DeleteOh dear, it's always interesting to hear a man's view point on something he has never had to do himself. Who has rattled your cage and got your back up about breast feeding in public so much? I would be more interested in hearing your wife's view on breast feeding rather than yours.... I wonder whether she has the same opinion?
DeleteHis missus can't comment right now - cos he's let the air out of her LOL
ReplyDelete*high five*
DeleteBwahahahaaa! Why if obviously he doesn't like children, or nurturing them for that matter, is he reading this blog? If you want to relax in the sanctity of silence send the children to nana's and stay in for a peaceful evening. If you expect silence in public , well you are in for disappointment. I'm a mother of two breastfed babies. I woukd feed them anytime and anywhere. There is nothing sexual about a breast that is latched onto by a miracle of God. It is wonderful. Yes occasionally I had a whoops moment where the world would get a flash of my goodies. Who cares. I love my children more than my own life and I will feed them regardless if they want to be covered or not( most the time not)
ReplyDeleteWhat a complete tit.
ReplyDeleteI love this so much. I read it ages ago on my phone but couldn't comment. And that photo is just amazing! xx
ReplyDelete