This morning a news story made me have a quick twitter rant. (just look at the poster ad!)
The rant was only a few tweets long.
Rant mode engaged
Free contraception for 13 year old girls to prevent teen pregnancy! Really? Not free condoms? Not any sort if support?
Because of course, GIRLS getting pregnant is obviously GIRLS fault. No boys involved. No young men. And if 13 year olds don't get pregnant..
We can then ignore the fact that children are having sex. Having sex might be fun, but it's not a game. Pregnancy is not the only risk
But hey, we can vaccinate GIRLS against hpv, we can give GIRLS drugs so they don't get pregnant...GIRLS are not sex toys
End rant (thanks radio 4)
And then the more I read in replies and saw on twitter the more rage I felt. And while 140 characters is too short to express my rage I think maybe an unlimited blog is too many. I will waffle and go off the point (see I’m doing it already) So I shall attempt to briefly explain my concerns.
I am not anti contraception for people that are going to have sex and don’t want to get pregnant.
I am keen that children are allowed to be children and that they are not growing up to see sex as something that is ‘normal’ to do at an age that is illegal and physically (in many cases) dangerous.
I do not want to see young girls controlled by boys who use sex as a way of dominating while declaring ‘love’.
I want all children, young adults and adults to have access to safe and reliable contraception and sexual health advice and treatment.
I want the world at large to stop implying that ‘getting pregnant’ is the ‘teen mum’s’ fault. That girls are the only ones that need ‘watching’ and ‘controlling’.
I want young women and young female children made aware that hormonal contraception carries a risk and won’t protect against many of the other dangers of sex.
I want children to learn that sex is ace, but that it is a responsibility as well as fun and that waiting for the right person (or people) is not silly – it’s nice.
I want young women and men to know that penetration is not all it’s about. And that sex and love are not the same thing.
I want roses round the door and blue birds to sing when you meet ‘the one’ and I’d like hearts to appear in your eyes when you are looking at the one you love.
That’s not too much to ask surely?
Check Out TheSite.Org for advice on all aspects of sex, contraception and relationships
Check Out TheSite.Org for advice on all aspects of sex, contraception and relationships
I do agree with all of this. The sex ed info in schools etc is still living in the dark ages and throwing free contraceptives at kids does not address the emotional and psychological aspects of sex. When my wee one is older I intend on giving her all the information available. I don't care if I'm one of those embarrassing mums!!
ReplyDeleteI completely agree with all of the above points. While yes, it is the girl (and her family) left with the consequences of a teen pregnancy as too often the male simply runs and hides behind a veil of
ReplyDelete"my son wouldn't do that, he was brought up right" (which is an entire other thing I'd like to rant about)
it is a two person act, with two parties who should be held just as accountable, and as such both should ensure they are adequately prepared with contraception. I'm a teacher, and when teaching sex education it is on the national curriculum that frankly ridiculous amounts of emphasis needs to be put on female contraception while condoms are reduced to ridiculous catchphrases like "no glove, no love", and never mentioned again through the course of the class.
I could continue this rant but
a)I hate hijacking other people's threads/posts
b)I'm in work.
I agree wholeheartedly, but also - what about boys? By shifting the focus onto girls and unfairly making them the gatekeepers of sexual morality and sexual health, we run the risk of relinquishing boys of all responsibility.
ReplyDeleteAs a mum of two boys (as well as a girl), I want them to grow up with a healthy attitude to sex. This means being well informed, and having a strong sense of responsibility. They need to know the risks of STI's and unplanned pregnancy. They need to understand the importance of consent. They need to have a sense of all that a sexual relationship involves.
I, for one, wouldn't want either my sons or my daughter to grow up with this nonsensical notion that sex is for girls to worry about, and for boys to enjoy.
And then there's the issue you raise of sexualising our children, but that's for another day!
I was going to say everything that Pauline already did. Utterly ridiculous and irresponsible to place all the onus onto girls, and also probably forcing many to go on the pill before they are emotionally ready because they are under tremendous pressure from their boyfriends.
ReplyDeleteSex is about two people, both of whom need to share the responsibility of STIs and pregnancy.
The pill should be more difficult to get hold off, that way more teens would wear condoms and even more would think twice about doing it so young. IMHO.
I agree with you. Seriously, there are far worse things you could end up with than getting pregnant. It's amazing how what was once a method that sexually liberated women has been turned into a method of potentially damaging future women's health. Who will be held culpable for this shortsighted decision?
ReplyDeleteIt is not ok to promote the idea that contraceptives is the female's responsibility.
That is crazy, they should be supporting kids not giving them contraceptives for girls only. It takes two last time I checked. They need to think long and hard about this. Its not protecting or advising them about what is right for them. It's telling them it's ok, on you go. Crazy.
ReplyDeletePauline nailed it - we cannot allow our boys to think that sex is the girls responsibility. If boys don't have to be responsible then they are one step removed from sex and are even less likely to respect the girls, respect their wishes, value the girls sexual enjoyment.
ReplyDeleteI'm hearing a lot of debate about children and sex at the moment and I'm finding it really scary that the boys are being left out of sensible, responsible attitudes towards sex.
Just come across this post - a bit late to the party. Totally agree with what everyone is saying.
ReplyDelete