Thursday, April 18, 2013

Ladies, I hope you are perfect,

I blogged about advertising and children.

Then I watched some TV in real time, on a channel with adverts, this meant that I watched actual adverts for actual products on my tellybox for the first time in ages. I am both amazed and appalled. I had not realised how imperfect I am as a woman! I must buy so many things...

so a check list for you ladies, to ensure you are all up to speed on what we need and how we should look because I'm sure some of you, like me, may not have realised! (you were probably busy just being fun and gorgeous naturally - but take a look, )


  • are your legs smooth enough that a piece of silk will slide down them if dropped
  • are your underarms soft and sweetly scented (and hair free)
  • are your eyebrows perfectly shaped
  • are your nails long and shaped and glossy and painted
  • are you slim, yet curvy
  • is your bra giving you the correct amount of sexy cleavage
  • are your eyelashes long and fluttery (yet clump free!)
  • are your lips plump and kissable with colour that won't fade all day long
  • are your feet soft and dry-skin free
  • are your toe nails painted baby pink
  • is your hair lustrous and long, shiny red and minus any split ends
  • do you smell nice
  • are your teeth whiter than white and free of pain when you bite an ice cube
  • is your tummy flat
  • do you look excellent in a bikini
  • is your skin free of any blemish, no freckles or 'darker' bits on your skin
  • are you free from all wrinkles
  • are your eyes bright and clear (there are drops and yes I did think this sounded like something a show dog might need)
  • do you have new clothes for 'this season'
  • are you fashionable and stylish and in well fitted colourful outfits
  • are you, worth it?
Just so you know, I am totally gorgeous, I'm a size 12 (going on 14) I stopped dying my hair and am embracing the grey, I don't shave my legs in the winter (I need the warmth!) What mum has time for nail polish to dry? Not me! Moisturise? maybe if my skin gets so dry I start to fall to bits. I bet you are gorgeous too.



Do what you like, but don't feel that you are less than perfect, you are a human, you are you.

8 comments:

  1. It's horrendous. Especially now some women think it's acceptable to berate another for not being well groomed. Someone on Facebook actually suggested that women who don't have their nails painted at all times are utterly disgusting to her & she wouldn't associate with such lowly scum. Apparently she wouldn't put her bin out without a perfect manicure adorning her pampered digits. Idiot. Well I had to do something. I took my grotty disgusting unpainted finger and swiftly hit the unfriend button.

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  2. Today i can answer no to all of those things. Plus the fact i have never owned any makeup bar some black lippy when i was a teenager. I bite my nails and don't dye my hair so probably scum of the earth to some. Seriously though i couldn't give a toss what others think! I'm happy being me and lifes to short to care. I do worry about my daughter buying into this crap she's already told me im not a real lady as i don't wear makeup soon set her straight there

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  3. I am a perfect state. And I give not a tiny toss! :)

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  4. I prefer to be as chemical free as possible, thanks *she says snobbishly* !

    in answer to your checklist, no to all of them. And I bet I'm still having at least as much sex if not more than any of those 'perfect' women!

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  5. Add to that "Are you holding down a high-powered job while raising your kids and having a three-course meal on the table for your ruggedly handsome husband every night"
    *Head explodes*

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  6. Oh yes that's me all over... ahem!

    The only time I get to paint my nails is on my way out to a 'do', in the car, when I am sure none of my 3 ferals are gonna come ask to to wipe their arse!

    I live in Gran Canaria so body on show a lot, it's friggen hellish! x

    Found you via Bibsey on Twitter! fabbo! x

    Sarah

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